A Simple Guide To A Successful Friends With Benefits Relationship
People are pretty crazy about the Friends with benefits type of deals these days. People love sex and don’t want something serious, we can respect that. Many just want to score first date sex and be done with it. That’s a noble cause, it’s worth fighting for. Many, however, encounter some serious troubles along the way – some stray into more emotional relationship-type territory, some introduce a ton of drama into their supposedly “drama-free” relationships. Overall, guys and girls, everybody has pretty much the same questions – how often, did you need to date beforehand, can you hang out with your FWB with no intentions of having sex, can you find some local fuck buddy, etc. There are many things that need to be specified, dissected and brought up, but it’s all worth it.
We think that you have to have some emotional connection with the person. So, if you dated before – that’s okay, people find that this whole FWB thing works best with the people they have previously dated. You can fuck someone who’s basically undatebale for you anymore (for one reason or another). In general, it doesn’t even matter how you ended up in the “Friends with benefits” relationships, maybe you saw that painfully average Natalie Portman movie, who cares – the most important thing is making sure the pros outweigh the cons. That’s why we decided to go over the things people usually love and loath about a FWB relationship.
- You can bang beautiful babes with no strings attached, come on.
- Some people are incredibly busy and just flat-out do not have the time for an actual relationship. Some hate the drama and some just don’t need the stress. It’s simple.
- If both partners are well-adjusted individuals, it can be a beautiful thing. A really fun experience, if your FWB is not some needy, unhinged psycho-succubus on steroids. Speaking from a personal experience.
- You can always get serious with your FWB. Generally, you should just drop the whole thing if one of you is starting to have feelings, but there are quite a few success stories. Even that painfully average Mila Kunis movie.
- Sometimes FWB has all the benefits of a relationship, but without neediness, exclusivity (which is a good thing for some people), judgment and responsibility.
- The whole emotional side of things if you are the type to get attached. There’s nothing worse than having to deal with trauma caused by falling in love with your FWB.
- May destroy your friendship once you’ve had enough fun or one of you has found a person that they are in love with.
- There’s always a person with higher expectations. It’s a bit sexist to presume that a guy has fewer expectations, but that’s almost always the case.
The bottom line is – Friends with benefits is not for everyone, but if it works it can be a beautiful thing, way better than a serious, emotionally-draining, drama-filled relationship. Here are some ground rules for making it work:
- Choose wisely. We talked about FWB-ing up an ex or a friend, it’s always a good place to start.
- Always be on the lookout. The things can get heavy at any given point, so get ready to talk over the newly-developed feelings.
- Communication is above everything else. There should be no pressure, you shouldn’t bullshit your partner – just shoot straight, be upfront about your expectations and needs. Otherwise, someone’s gonna get hurt.
- Set rules. Yeah, there’s nothing sexy about discussing your relationships in painstaking details, but that’s a necessity. Define the rules, set guidelines.
- No romantic stuff. That was one of the questions above, and our hot take on it – just do not do anything even remotely couple-like. No hugging, no sweet kisses, no watching a movie together, no spooning, no nothing.
- Never get jealous. That’s the thing you signed up for – not having an exclusive relationship.
- Respect each other. Your sex may be primal and aggressive, but you can’t get too carried away with that sort of thing. Respect is key.
That’s a brief rundown, of course, there are so many things, so many details you have to be mindful of. You can’t cover everything with a short yet meandering article. Stay tuned for more, we’ll get to discuss the Friends with benefits phenomenon with people who had the worst experience you can imagine. And with people who had the time of their lives, we are trying to be unbiased here.